Joshua 6:2-5 - 2.Then the LORD said to Joshua, "See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. 3. March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. 4. Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams' horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. 5. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in."
In my quiet time recently, I was lead to the story of Joshua and the city of Jericho. I have read and heard this story many times, but this particular time it was used to help me see where I have been for quite a while.
As I was reading this the other day it made me think of a long time friend of mine who always told me that I built "walls" up around my heart. He could see that when I was hurt, my defense was to put that wall right up to protect myself from being hurt again. I always thought he was crazy saying that, until I was in church a couple of Sundays ago (of course, it was the Sunday after Joshua was my quiet time). I was sitting in church and during worship I realized that for the last year I have had a wall built around my heart. The wall was not towards people, but it was towards God. I know that seems odd to say, but my prayer for the last year has been for God to use me, but to protect me from being hurt again. What I was doing was putting a stipulation on God to say "okay God, here I am. You can use me, but only if I don't get hurt. If I will get hurt, then I'm out". My wall was causing a rift in my relationship to God. Yes, I was reading my Bible daily and praying, but I wasn't listening. I couldn't hear God and I couldn't figure out why until I realized that I had a wall around my heart just like Jericho.
This was a big "AhHa" moment for me. I have to work on surrendering everything everday to Him and not to allow the wall to go back up. If there is a wall that you are holding up, let it go. Surrender it all to God and He will be your refuge.