Have you ever had one of those moments where your heart sinks to your stomach?  Where, something happens unexpectedly that triggers that sick feeling?  For instance, replying to an email and giving information out, when you meant to send it to someone else?  Leaving your wallet at a store?  Losing your cell phone?  Seeing someone you once cared about with someone else?  Any of these can cause that sick feeling that makes you so unsettled you don't know what to do.  Something similar happened to me, and it threw me more than I expected.  After my prior serious relationship, you would think I would be used to it, but I'm not. I am the type of person that does not like to be surprised - ok, I like to be surprised with trips, flowers, and jewelry, but I don't like to be surprised with negative things.  I like to be prepared and know what's coming, but today, I wasn't. 

I had that overwhelming sick feeling that hits you so deeply, you almost can't breathe. It was so unexpected and my first responce was to run. Just get out and get away from it. Unfortunatly, that was not really an option.  After the intial flight response, when my brain starts to process what is happeneing, I try to process the why. Then I get so mad at myself, that I even let something trivial effect me like that.  I was being rushed with emotion and honestly did not know what to do.   

So what I decided to do was leave the situation for a moment, and when I did, God put someone in my path that I needed.  My sweet friend was there, and she prayed for me.  She put God back as the focus, and that is where my thoughts should have been. What happened next can only be explained by the power of God. I was filled with an internal peace where you just know God is with you.  He is holding you up and comforting you. I prayed constantly that God would remain my focus and during that time, He was the only thing that was giving me a constant peace.  He has been through everything that we go through, and whatever situation we face. He is the only one that will never let us down. 

What it really made me see is that we are all human.  We have human tendencies that are natural, and how God created us, so what I was feeling was natural. The hard part when we face situations like this is surrendering those thoughts and feelings to God. But, when you do, everything is put in perspective and there is such a peace that you know God will get you through it.   

Now that I look back on it, it all seems so silly, but the human nature is a powerful thing.
Philippians 4:7 - And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus 


A little over a month ago I went on vacation to Temecula, CA.  It's a little over an hour from San Diego, and it was absolutely gorgeous.  We took a tour of several vineyards, and it was interesting to see how much care and thought goes into each row of grapes. There are different grapes all through the vineyard that each make a different type of wine.  It was very interesting to learn how it was all made, and takes a tremendous amount of hard work.  It takes a long time for the grapes to be made into what they are intended to be. What I noticed, was at the end of each row of grapes there is a rose bush.  The rose bush is planted as an early detection of any disease or pests that could harm the grapevine. If they see the rose bush starting to die, or grow mildew, they know it is time to protect the grapevines.

This all got me thinking about how God works in our lives.  He takes his time to develop us into what He wants us to be. This 'refining' does not happen overnight.  We don't wake up one morning and think, well, today is the day I'm going to be all God wants me to be!  It takes years of learning God's word, and praying.  God taks us through things that will equip us with what He wants us to have, to fulfil His will  for our lives. Sometimes the things that happen to us are not easy.  We don't always don't understand the why of things, but I know behind every thing that happens, there is a God who is refining me into the woman He needs me to be, to further His kingdom.