It amazes me how certain situations, actions or things you see make your heart feel a certain way. Like the way you hear an old song and it makes you think of your first love. Or, if you go to a certain place and it makes you think of an old memory about your past and all the emotions come flooding back, like it was yesterday. A word, a memory, a smell, and even a light switch can bring back emotion and memories that you may have thought were gone.
The heart is a complex thing. I have yet to figure out how it works, and as far as I know there hasn't been anyone else that has. If there was, they would be a millionaire! There is a past event in my life that I thought was resolved a very long time ago. Then, I saw something that evoked so much emotion in me, I wondered if I had resolved it at all? This got me thinking, how do we know if we are actually over something? What is the appropriate amount of time or the process to put your past behind you? How do you know if you have dealt with something, or just pushed it so far down so you don't have to feel the pain?
There is no right or wrong answer to this. All I know is I have to give things to God. In church this morning, the pastor was talking about pride getting in the way, and thinking we could handle things on our own. We can't. I believe that is why God takes you through hard times, so you have to rely on Him. You have nothing else to do but give it all to Him. Life is hard, especially to think we can do this all on our own. My past situation was tough and the only one that can resolve it is God. What are you dealing with that you are trying to take all the burden on yourself? Take your burden and leave it at His feet, and He will take the burden on Himself.
3 comments:
I definitely agree with you on many of those points and carry alot of the same unanswered questions when those things come up that i call 'triggers'.
In my experience and exploring, have found that the things that may have caused pain, love, or even trauma in our lives developed a path of brain connection fires to invoke behavior that matched the emotions appropriately at the time, such as protection/self preservation, or intimate/loving times, or defense mechanisms.
Those become trigger points that can be stimulated in our environment today (smells, sights, songs). The stimulus charges the path to the triggered behavioral response has in most cases outlived it's use, especially when it comes to defense mechanisms or extended exposure to trauma or abuse. I think the key is knowing the trigger points, and recognizing that you have been "triggered", and making a conscious choice on how to respond to the trigger vs. how we may have responded unconsciously in the past.
I think what's awesome is the recognition point, and allowing yourself to feel it rather than charge through either supressing it, as you mentioned or reacting immediately. "Savoring it", if you will, especially if it is easily recognizable from the past. The bad news is...those triggers never go away, but changing responses to the triggers is like excercising a muscle...the brain can learn a new path over time.
Great post!
- Jeff
PS - not to dismiss the spiritual side of having God. It is very, very important to get the strength deal with triggers that we want to deal with and/or change...and have that strong, spiritual foundation.
Lisa, I just found your blog and have been reading back through your posts and have enjoyed them very much. They make me think much about my life and things going on around me these days. I will continue to keep up with you through your words.
Sharon
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